Destiny’s Child is known for damn good women empowerment anthems and Destiny Fulfilled is full of them, but “Girl” hits differently for me. I remember hearing it all throughout my childhood and feeling the power and importance of it. I remember eventually learning the story behind the song (and Kelly Rowland’s Dirty Laundry”) and feeling the amount of love that Beyoncé and Michelle had for Kelly when they wrote it for her. To me, “Girl” portrays true sisterhood by wanting the best for your girl but attempting to approach it in the best way possible.
“Take a minute girl, come sit down
And tell us what’s been happening
In your face, I can see the pain
Don’t you try to convince us that you’re happy, yeah
We’ve seen this all before
Brothers taking advantage of the passion
Because we’ve come too far for you to feel alone
You don’t let him walk over your heart, I’m telling you”
This Series Sunday post will (obviously) be dedicated to my own set of girls, affectionately called NLMS. I’ve told the story about a million times but the bulk of us met in the Howard GroupMe before classes began and we all ended up living in Crandall Hall of the Harriet Tubman Quadrangle (with the exception of Justice) during our freshman year. Ever since then we’ve been close as can be. We continued to be roommates with one another during our sophomore and senior years, we joined organizations together, we grieved together, and we will now be bringing new life into this world (not necessarily together but it takes a village, right?). But before I get into that exciting news, let me give more background on why I know my girls will be there for life.
It’s common knowledge amongst college students that your friends during the first week of college may not end up being your friends by the end of college. However, some of us get lucky. I met my girls between application season and the first week of being at Howard. Ariel being the first with us bonding over a joke I made in the group chat and Justice being last when she taught me how to properly twerk on a guy I met at Rep Yo City during freshman week. Throughout our freshman year, we all had our ups and downs (collectively and individually). From losing family members to being rejected from opportunities to celebrating birthdays, good test scores, and acceptances; we made it a point to be there for each other at every moment. When I was super down about not accomplishing the things on my checklist for my first semester at Howard, Tooty and Samya were there to remind me of who the hell I was and that rejection is just redirection (which proved to be very true in the future). Through first dates, first jobs, and first blunts we were there for each other without hesitation and a shoulder to cry on (or sleep on). When it comes to NLMS, I truly have no idea where I would be without them. They’ve given me the clothes off their back, covered my tab when needed during our end of semester dinners, and given me the hugs I requested even though most of them aren’t fond of physical touch. They’ve been the girl group I’ve always wanted growing up and I am so grateful to have each and every one of them in my life.
“Girl, I can tell you’ve been crying
And you needing somebody to talk to
Girl, I can tell he’s been lying
And pretending that he’s faithful and he loves you
Girl, you don’t have to be hiding
Don’t you be ashamed to say he hurt you
I’m your girl, you’re my girl, we your girls
Don’t you know that we love ya?”
While the song’s meaning doesn’t relate to anything any of us have personally gone through, I know that our sisterhood is strong enough to be real with each other like Bey and Michelle were for Kelly. I feel within my heart and soul that our sisterhood is strong and can make it through just about anything. Even though we met at the ages of 17 and 18, I like to say that we grew up together and we will continue to grow together as we journey through all of the new stages of life we’re currently all going through.
As I mentioned earlier, we’re in the process of bringing new life into this world! Tooty is the first of us to be with child and we are so excited to bring our girl, Marsai Samya, into this world. The baby shower for our little Gemini genius (fingers crossed lol) was held this past weekend and the gang got back together to celebrate her coming into our lives. Throughout the weekend, I could hear “Girl” playing through my head like a broken record because I just know that Marsai will have such a well-rounded and caring village to support her through life. Her mother has been such a strong, motivating, and grounding figure in my life for the past five years and I am honored to have been chosen to be an auntie for her daughter. I hope that our friendship provides Marsai with a solid positive example of what Black sisterhood looks like and she strives to find her own group of girlfriends that makes her feel as secure and loved as mine does.
Thank you to NLMS for teaching me how to be a better sister in every aspect of my life and aiding me in growing into the woman I’ve always imagined myself becoming. I hope I have done the same for y’all and I hope that I continue to do that for the rest of our lives. Sisterhood over everything.